Not that kind of naked. Okay, maybe that kind, too. But Valentine month is also a perfect excuse to get emotionally naked with everyone you love. Most of us have a number of comfortable, pleasant relationships that suit us but do nothing to deeply nurture us. Emotional transparency is the key to upgrading those relationships to the level of juicy, juicy joy!
The fact is: you are a tribal creature by nature of your humanness, and the more deeply you can connect with your fellow humans, the more you’ll thrive. Our society doesn’t foster transparency—quite the opposite. We’re taught from a very early age to put our “best face forward” and to hide or deny any traits we fear will make us less attractive to others. We’re taught that our success in life depends upon the image we project and manage to uphold. How often have you been told “you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression?” or “image is everything”? My friend who works in sales for a large publishing company likes to quip, “Anybody who says you can’t judge a book by its cover never tried to sell one.” The cover is all we judge by! And all of us want us our covers to be the shiniest, most impressive covers we can manage to project.
But where does that really leave us in terms of self-love and genuine connection with our fellow human creatures? Hiding and denying genuine aspects of your precious self creates an energetic declaration that those pieces of you are unlovable. Having too many of these unlovable bits will prevent you energetically from being able to receive love. People can only truly love you to the precise extent that you’re loving yourself, and to the extent you’re willing to hold your complete, authentic self up to be loved. Ergo, more transparency equals more love.
A happy bonus is that your own transparency will invite others to be more transparent themselves when they’re around you. We think hiding our “negative” traits will make us more likable, when the opposite is actually true! Since we all share a longing, deep down, for the freedom to live life as our most uncensored, real selves, most of us are irresistibly drawn to transparent people! They give us permission to let our own guards down, which feels really, really good.
To honor Love-Month, try being more transparent with the people in your life. If you’re blessed to have a significant other, do frequent check-ups to see how transparent you’re being with your beloved. To a large degree, the success of our intimate relationships depends upon our level of transparency with one another, as well as the degree to which we’re matched in our capability and determination for transparency. We all want to be seen, fully, by our partners and loved for who we are. But it’s not up to our partners to make that happen. It’s up to us to show up as our most transparent selves, and only when we’re able to do that will we be capable of truly exchanging love.
Transparency . . . it’s not just for negligees anymore!
About the Author: Unconditional love expert Lisa McCourt is a dynamic speaker, seminar leader and author whose 34 books have sold more than 5.5 million copies worldwide. Her new book, Juicy Joy – 7 Simple Steps to Your Glorious, Gutsy Self, teaches people to embrace "radical authenticity" to fully experience unbridled joy in life. Lisa lives in South Florida with her two children. For a free Juicy Joy audio program, visit www.LisaMcCourt.com.
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